please place the tiara on my head

i will do the honors and crown myself as the queen of online shopping, and no, not just online shopping, BARGAIN online shopping. of course, i would love to be able to online shop as if i just won the lotto, but i am not quite at that baller status yet, and a girl has gotta save, so i do quite a bit of online shopping. and by “quite a bit” i do mean every free minute i have. i love going to boutiques around miami and laughing at what they charge for the same shirt i found online. seriously, why would i pay $65 for a skull shirt when i know at least four different online sites (that i visit on the reg.) that are selling them for $24.99 – $32. ugh sorry, i’d rather buy two shirts for the price of one, if ya know what i mean.

but i am real bitchy about telling people where i have found my bargains. i have this theory that if too many people start buying from them, then their prices will go up, and that will totally ruin my game plan! maybe by the end of this post i will develop a soft spot for my followers and share one of them.

tip: best way to save with online shopping is to sign up for their newsletters. yes it sucks getting spammed a million times a day by countless companies, but most of the time, those emails contain lots of beneficial information. for example, one of the new websites i found, i signed up for the newsletter, as i browsed the website, of course had a cart full of items but didn’t actually purchase yet. sure enough i check my email a few hours later and most of the items i had selected had gone on sale, 40% off. that was music to my ears. i literally could have cried from excitement.

tip: lets say you fell in love with a pair of shoes on a website like sam edelman. find out what the name of the shoe is, go to google, search the shoe (under shopping) and it will show you all the places where you can purchase that shoe, and how much. i do it all the time, and save myself SO MUCH MONEY!

tip: before checkout, google the website you are on, followed by coupons. sometimes you will find awesome coupons, sometimes you won’t, but it doesn’t hurt to check it out.

tip: social media does goes a long way. most companies give you a discount just for liking them on facebook, or following them on twitter.

so today, as i was doing my usual online shopping i came across this super cute tribal sweater. of course i look on all of my websites, since they pretty much carry the same clothes, and here is the perfect example of WHY you should look around before purchasing.

vs

 

buuut the best thing about tobi is you get 50% off your first purchase. ugh talk about a deal! – https://www.tobi.com/i/MzY3NTIx%0A

numba 23 in da houz

hold up, wait a minute… apparently shots were fired because of a pair of jordans? REALLY. i don’t see why people had to take it to that level.. i don’t see ladies fighting over a pair of louboutins, which personally i think look a lot better than a pair of jordan shoes. seriously, WHO STILL WEARS JORDANS? (i am sure i am going to get a lot of hate for that one) so you are telling me that a pair of $180 shoes almost got a person killed? for a pair of shoes? i love shoes like any woman my age, maybe a little bit more than the rest but i don’t think i would go to extremes to shoot someone for their shoes. i mean… well maybe if they were one of a kind YSL’s or alexander mcqueens, then i might just have to resort to violence.

this whole shebang happened in san fran, when a guy standing in line with 3,000 of his closest friends was waiting for a chance to buy the air jordan xi retro “concord” (even the name doesn’t sound too appealing for my taste) decided shooting a gun into the air might help his chances in skipping the line. wrong. this guy obviously had the wrong idea and ended up spending the night in jail.maybe next time he should try the good ‘ol indian skip instead..

but the stupidity doesn’t stop there… it managed to make its way up to seattle (ha.. of course it did, obviously only complete morons live in that city). twenty plus people went home with pepper spray in their eyes instead of shoes on their feet. news flash guys, online shopping! no lines. no pushing. no shootings. (the list can go on..)

beautiful YSL’s vs air jordan xi retro “concord”

that shit cray.

steve broke my heart.

so today is off to a fantastic start, NOT. this is what i get for bragging about my super awesome sale… my ex best friend steve madden decided to let me purchase my beautiful shoes but then sent me an email this morning saying they are out of stock. pause, this is definitely not the first thing i want to see in the morning. maybe a good morning gorgeous, we ran out of your shoe would have sufficed, but c’mon steve, i thought we had a better relationship than that. you sent me a mass email (ugh!) then gave me a measly 10% off discount. seriously! that does not take the pain away… my heart and feet are extremely sad and disappointed right now and a 10% discount is not going to cut it.. especially when you got my excitement at it’s all time high then… completely let me down. steve, i might have to start shopping at aldo from now on, just saying.

sales make my heart skip a beat

blooop. blooop. my phone goes off, and i see i have a new email. i check it and to my surprise it was from my best friend everrrrr, steve madden. i like to call him steve, and he likes to call me customer #4534266342785543. (as you can tell we have a very close relationship). when i get emails from him, i take them verrry seriously because when there is a sale at steve madden, there is a SALE. i proceeded to minimize all my work windows and opened up firefox. stevemadden.com here i come!  i go to the clearence section, scroll down and there they are… my shoes. i have been stalking looking for these shoes on every possible website for months now because my supposed best friend steve sold out in my size eons ago. i hold my breath as i click the thumb sized picture to see the other colors. taupe suede.. taupe suede i keep repeating to myself. praying they have that color still available. they do. whew. i let out a big gust of air that causes my coworkers to ask me if i am okay.. i let them know now is NOT the time. then, i realize i still have to pick a size because unfortunately shoes don’t run in a one size fits all style. i gasp for air as i click the size option.. and they only have one size, and it is MY SIZE! i quickly pick one quantity and go checkout. i got them. i love them and in five to seven business day i will be placing them on my feet.

btw, i went back on to steve’s site about 7 minutes after so i could show a friend my fabulous deal and the shoe was taken down. i bought the only one left. fate i tell you, fate<3. 

 

 

ew, new balance.

this message is directed to men who wear new balance sneakers on and off the field. the only places they should be worn is at the gym, on a basketball court/football field/golf course/track, etc. if you are wearing new balance sneakers on dates, at work, at parties, and/or any venue that is not sport related, please direct yourself to the nearest cliff and jump off. (okay, that might have been a tad bit harsh…)

i don’t mean to be picky, but lets just play the role reversal game for a second. you see a pretty girl, wearing a pretty dress.. you look her up.. you start to look her down and BAM she is wearing a pair of new balance sneakers. what would be the first thing to cross your mind? how about WHAT THE EFF IS SHE WEARING? i am just guessing in the dark here, but that is definitely what would cross my mind. there is something about new balance sneakers that adds about 16 years to your look and completely demotes you to being worst dressed, no matter how awesome your outfit might be.

you might not think shoes are a big deal, but they are all part of your first impression.  just like new balance sneakers pretty much are a deal breaker for a guy, so are air force ones. those are so middle school. i get annoyed when i see guys wearing them still.. to this day! and then they get irritated when their shoes get scuffed. really? you are concerned that your precious shoes are going to get dirty, then why would you wear them to a club or a party, news flash you aren’t walking around in a bubble.

.. just saying