you can thank me later.

i have been a magazine hoarder these last few months, and a few days ago i finally decided to go through my endless collection of very informative magazines, and by informative of course i am talking about vogue, cosmo and self. if you want i can sit here and give you a synopsis of the do’s and don’ts in the fashion world, how to properly have a fight via text with your boyfriend and share about 47 recipes, and exercises that i plan to incorporate in my life sometime this millennium, or,  i can just tell you my absolute favorite discovery, an app. yes, as in an application for you cell phone (well only iPhone/ipad and android users) everyone else, cmon now… we are in 2013.

this app is unlike any app out there. this one is geared for the person who enjoys the fit life, needs some motivation while working out, or just wants to listen to some damn good mixes. i can promise you, this app will become your new best friend.

back in the day i used to download my own music, upload the songs to my itunes,  spend hours making a playlist that i eventually would get sick of and never listen to again. then, i thought with the discovery of pandora, my life was changed forever, but with pandora comes the same 20 songs and commercials every 10 minutes – yes time is saved, but the aggravation still lingers. about a week ago, while i was flipping through self (or was it women’s health, maybe it was fitness magazine)  there was a list of apps for the fitness junkie. i had most of them, since i always download the latest calorie counter or fad diet app, use it for a week then forget it exists. mixed in the list was FIT RADIO, an app for those who like to workout.

fitradiothe concept behind FIT radio, is like pandora but not, because it is so much better. NO commercials, just the best workout mixes in the entire world. after i downloaded the app i had to try it out, so i went for a run, and if you know me the stair master i’d die for, but a treadmill…. lets just say i would rather do 100 burpees!  i ran for so long that by the time i had realized i was running, it had been15 minutes! i almost went into cardiac arrest when i discovered i ran for so long with out a single negative thought and cursing the person who invented a treadmill in my head. it had to be FIT Radio. it was like a new romance had just sparked. i wanted to tell everyone about it, and this week  i found my self getting excited at the thought of doing cardio.

what is so awesome about FIT Radio? well, you can choose a genre geared to your target BPM. the application also offers stations targeted to a certain workout – 10k/5k run, zumba!, 90’s in the gym etc. it even offers a station for our beloved meat heads. FIT radio’s mission is to increase motivation, stimulate endorphins, and amp workouts, and i can testify, it does. OH, and did i mention, IT IS FREE.

i put it to test yesterday in my gym class. the instructor needed music, so i generously offered my phone. after each song that played i could hear people “omg this mix is awesome,” and i gushed to myself as if i was the dj that created the mix.

xoxo.

please place the tiara on my head

i will do the honors and crown myself as the queen of online shopping, and no, not just online shopping, BARGAIN online shopping. of course, i would love to be able to online shop as if i just won the lotto, but i am not quite at that baller status yet, and a girl has gotta save, so i do quite a bit of online shopping. and by “quite a bit” i do mean every free minute i have. i love going to boutiques around miami and laughing at what they charge for the same shirt i found online. seriously, why would i pay $65 for a skull shirt when i know at least four different online sites (that i visit on the reg.) that are selling them for $24.99 – $32. ugh sorry, i’d rather buy two shirts for the price of one, if ya know what i mean.

but i am real bitchy about telling people where i have found my bargains. i have this theory that if too many people start buying from them, then their prices will go up, and that will totally ruin my game plan! maybe by the end of this post i will develop a soft spot for my followers and share one of them.

tip: best way to save with online shopping is to sign up for their newsletters. yes it sucks getting spammed a million times a day by countless companies, but most of the time, those emails contain lots of beneficial information. for example, one of the new websites i found, i signed up for the newsletter, as i browsed the website, of course had a cart full of items but didn’t actually purchase yet. sure enough i check my email a few hours later and most of the items i had selected had gone on sale, 40% off. that was music to my ears. i literally could have cried from excitement.

tip: lets say you fell in love with a pair of shoes on a website like sam edelmanfind out what the name of the shoe is, go to google, search the shoe (under shopping) and it will show you all the places where you can purchase that shoe, and how much. i do it all the time, and save myself SO MUCH MONEY!

tip: before checkout, google the website you are on, followed by coupons. sometimes you will find awesome coupons, sometimes you won’t, but it doesn’t hurt to check it out.

tip: social media does goes a long way. most companies give you a discount just for liking them on facebook, or following them on twitter.

so today, as i was doing my usual online shopping i came across this super cute tribal sweater. of course i look on all of my websites, since they pretty much carry the same clothes, and here is the perfect example of WHY you should look around before purchasing.

vs

 

buuut the best thing about tobi is you get 50% off your first purchase. ugh talk about a deal! – https://www.tobi.com/i/MzY3NTIx%0A

you ain’t sexy, and i know it.

what is it about men that gives them this utter confidence to think they are hot shit and can just do as they please. i am in disbelief right now and hope that i am not the only one. you go out, you meet a guy, you have great conversation, you then give him your number.. if he calls, he calls, if he doesn’t who cares. (at least that’s how i look at it..) so lets just say this guy does end up contacting you the next day…. you exchange a few texts, ya know … no biggie. day two of texting rolls around and after the “hello, how was your day text” you receive a picture.. and no not of him smiling, or of one of those funny/sarcastic ecards that one loves to receive (hint.. hint). this picture was of  him without his shirt on. WHAT THE FUCK? seriously? one, i did not ask for you to send me this picture, two i could have definitely done w. out it, unless you are sporting a six pack that looks absolutely delish (please refer to picture A below), then do not send shirtless pictures of yourself to anyone besides yo mama – unless, of course one asks for them.

the worst thing about this entire situation, is that this isn’t the first time a guy has done this. just because a girl has a conversation with you, DOES NOT MEAN SHE WANTS TO BONE YOU. i can’t grasp the way a man thinks. i just don’t get it. am i crazy? is it me who feels that this is completely uncalled for and out of line? are girls doing this? are they just sending pictures of themselves half naked saying “hey check it out, i just went HAM at the gym,” cause if they are, ladies please put your shirts back on and take one for the team. if i see one more unattractive picture sent to my cell phone i might have to gouge my eyes out.

picture a:

sexy six pack ryan gosling

point is, if you look like this, then please mass text me every shirtless picture you take. but if you don’t, then keep it to yourself. THANKKSSS.

those three little words..

lets say something happens to you, something you think is huge… maybe in others eyes it is just a small little problem but in your eyes, this something is catastrophic and you feel as if your world is coming to an end. you turn to your friends for support and before you tell them your problem you say those three magic words, “don’t. tell. anyone.” within minutes you look at your cell phone and everyone you have known since middle school is texting you with “omg are you okay”. (okay, fine i am exaggerating…not since middle school, but all your close friends, and their close friends and maybe their close friends have found out your latest drama.) why is it when you say “don’t tell anyone” it is as if those words are code for: yes, spread my business all over town after i just asked you not to tell a soul. i have a few friends, (who i am sure are reading this right now, and YES, I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU), who do not know the meaning of the phrase, “don’t tell anyone.” even the most obscure people end up finding out. like really? how? well this is how, simple equation. blabber mouth tells x+y+z, then x+y+z each tell their own x+y+z, then those tell a few more and bam, everyone within a 30 mile radius has just found out. how do you solve this equation, eliminate your friend… haha, if only it was that simple.. i guess this would be my (your) own fault. you think after the 13435234578864th time it has happened, you would stop telling that friend your secrets… but for some reason you just keep going back and hoping that maybe after the -insert number above here- they will finally shut their trap and not tell anyone. but i have figured out how to avoid your business from making it front page news. nonchalantly, as if it is no big deal, say your problem. whatever you do, don’t put any emphasis on what the problem really is. push comes to shove, come up with another issue and say, “omg don’t tell anyone” about that situation, then sneak attack the real issue at hand. when you don’t make a big deal about what you don’t want others to talk about, they seem to not care.. as soon as those three words escape your mouth, everything around you seems to stop, and all ears are on you. every precise detail has now been recorded and will be on repeat for the next week and a half.

moral of the story, avoid using phrases like “don’t tell anyone,” and while we are on that subject, avoid at all costs saying, “don’t look” because that is an open invitation to stare at whatever it is you don’t want them to look at.

balls to the wall

as a woman we have essentials that we carry around with us everywhere we go. we have our wallets, cell phones, keys, four different pens, gum, headphones, sunglasses, lady products and of course make-up (because you never know where you are going to end up). we try to organize things so that way we don’t have everything just floating around our purses. wallets for our cash and credit cards, make-up cases for our well make-up, pencil cases for our pens, i mean really the list can go on and i am pretty sure you get the picture. but we have these things to make our lives easier.

now, let me introduce you to probably most practical product ever made for a woman. trust me, after i tell you what it is you are going to go out and buy it. swearZ. and the product is…. lip balm. haha i know, this was probably invented in the medieval times, but this isn’t like any other lip balm. this lip balm was made for the woman who has a purse bigger than a suitcase, for the woman who travels with her life but can never seem to find anything in her purse… and you can thank me later. it is called eos, it comes in a variety of flavors and is shaped like a ball, hence the ease of finding it in any size purse. i think the convenience factor outweighs every thing else, because it literally saves me from having to stop everything i am doing to then stick my head in my purse to search for my lip balm that can easily be mistaken for lipstick, pens, crayons, markers, liquid eye liner, a roll of pennies (don’t ask). i mean how many ball-shaped objects do you have in your purse? EXACTLY!

okay so why should you run out to cvs and buy it? one. convenience. two. it is organic. three. it moisturizes your lips. four. conversation starter. (i have had almost every flavor of this balm and no matter where i am, no matter what color the little egg-shaped lip balm is, i always get stopped and asked about it. the first thing i tell them is… CONVENIENCE – GO GET IT!!) five. i love mint, and their mint lip balm is, well, the shit.

the girl with the stupid tattoo

just when i thought people can’t get any dumber, i am proven wrong. it baffles me how far some people go for attention, unless it’s not attention that they are seeking and they are just plain stupid. i might be a little late on discussing the issue at hand, but i just have to! who in their right mind would tattoo someone’s name on their forehead let alone a rappers. it’s times like these when i wish i could have been there minutes before to ask her “what the f*ck are you thinking?!” i can’t help but wonder if she did this to get attention from drake. well obviously she did, but couldn’t she do it the old school, let me just wait outside his house until he comes out tactic instead? for one, she wouldn’t be walking around with a tattoo that says drake on her forehead, that i am pretty sure she will regret doing in about six months when drake goes back to school at degrassi, and is no longer weezy’s booty partner. tattoos are forever, but a criminal record can always be expunged – just saying.

so when drake found out about the idiotic tattoo, he didn’t keep quiet.. he had this to say:

“I want to meet her and understand what happened. That’s cool though, I feel you 100%, that to me is absolutely incredible.

The guy who tatted is a f*cking as*hole though, I will tell you that,” he said. “I don’t f*ck with that guy. F*ck you to that tat artist by the way. And you should lose your job and should never do tattoos again and I don’t f*ck with you. And if I ever see you, I’m a f*ck you up.”

he wants to understand what happened. hey drake, ill throw a few options your way. a. she was on some serious drugs. b. it was a dare. c. she is like your biggest fan like EVERRRRR. all these are probable choices, but i am going to have to go w. option a. it also seems as though drake is a little upset that someone would do this. HOW COULD THEY! i on the other hand would feel quite flattered if i saw my name across someones forehead (although, i did see my name used as a tramp stamp – it’s not a forehead but i did feel a tid bit special.) now we just have to sit back and wait for the next stupid thing to come our way, and i am pretty sure we won’t have to wait that long.

the bold and the beautiful.

so, i started writing for a blog as the fashion writer, and by started, i do mean that i have only written one post. this week i wrote about cobalt blue and why you need it. oh and my top blue choices! enjoy. ;]

‘Tis the season for cobalt blue.

If there is one color you need to add to your winter wardrobe, it’s this deep hue. Of course, by add I mean anything from accessories for your outfit, to a main piece like a blouse or a dress. This vibrant color goes well with every skin tone or hair color, so basically anyone can pull it off, and this bold color is sure to brighten up those winter blues.

Blake Lively, better known as Serena van der Woodsen on Gossip Girl, owns this look. I am literally obsessed, and I am currently looking for the exact replica of this outfit. Notice how the ….  (want to read more)

that is only a little snippet, i mean i couldn’t give it all away.

anddd here is how i wore my blue. 

lets but the arty in partyyyy

it is beginning to look a lot like my birthdayyyy! yippieeee. the one day i am allowed to wear a tiara and not get dirty looks when doing so. the days leading up to my birthday take foreverrr, yet go by so quickly. i have to plan what i am going to do (ideas, anyone!), who i am going to leave out invite, and of course i have to find a birthday outfit! i think what i love more than presents that i actually want, are creative things done by the people you care about. like doing little things to make you feel special on your day, because after all, it is YOUR DAY!

i am the baby out of all my friends, literally and figuratively. most of my friends are already 24, about to be 24, turning 25 soon, while i am about to turn 23. a chunk of them went through a mini meltdown when turning 23, but i am honestly looking forward to it. i think each year just gets better and better. you learn more about yourself and who you want to surround yourself with. you grow more independent, you begin to realize what is important, and you stop playing games. i like to think that 23 is the year of maturity, at least that is what i say now.

so what do i want for my birthday … :: drum roll please ::

one of those tutus as my birthday outfit, with the tiara of course.

a puppyyyy

flowers<3

a baby sloth<3, or a trip to the sloth sanctuary in costa rica.

ryan, preferably with a huge bow strategically placed some where on his body.

waking up to nsync singing me happy birthday, but i’ll settle for jt.

this

+

marc by marc jacobs.

dec. 14, mark your calendars. <33

babbyyy im a b0$$

my oh so fun, exciting and glamorous job has turned into, well the complete opposite. i would refer to it as hells quarters, but it is so cold in my office that the reference is counter intuitive.  i wish i hated my job because of something insignificant.. something that could easily be fixed. but hate my JOB.. like my actual work. i hate everything that my boss has me doing. i have some how been demoted to being my boss’ for a lack of a better word, bitch. i don’t think i would mind so much if i was still dealing with public relations or social media, you know what i want to do with my life. i seriously have had the worst luck with bosses, from the cheapest man to walk the planet – dead serious, for our birthdays he would buy a muffin and split it into 6 ways…,  to a boss who still owes me money, and won’t pay up. now i deal with the boss i have now. i won’t say names, or name my place of business, but i shall refer to him as ahpima (a huge pain in my ass) or we can just call him lucifer.

lucifer, is a very wealthy man. how did he become wealthy you ask? well he invented some product that basically EVERYONE uses, and it can be found EVERYWHERE. he has about 19 different cars from lambos to audis to 3 different types of rolls royce’s, to about 15 different motor cycles just chilling in the warehouse at our office. besides owning basically every luxury car known to man, he also owns businesses up the ying yang. this guy will not be in the 99% any time soon. i will give it to him though, he is a very smart guy. he is a business man, he knows what to say and who to talk to. the man knows whats up.

what bothers me is how can one person be so petty? he has all this money, yet makes me sell things on ebay, stuff that really has no value. at least not to a man of his wealth. obviously if i was selling it and made money off of it, it would make an impact in my life, but it doesn’t even make a slight dent in his wallet. it just annoys me that he has all this money yet he can’t donate what he doesn’t want to charity. to goodwill? it makes me cringe and frustrates me. granted he might make about 7,000 dollars off of all of the things he is selling, but that would seriously not affect him in the slightest. my current project, selling 30 shirts that he has sitting in a box. the shirts are from the early 2000’s, so i wouldn’t even consider them vintage. these USED shirts have been sitting in a brown box for over 2 years, untouched. yet he wants me to sell them? really? there are people who need clothes on their backs… instead of him making a few extra bucks from them. pause, i need to explain these shirts to you.  they are some of the tackiest shirts i have ever seen. one is a jean shirt with cowboy boots on it? another has a cow farting… seriously, i can’t believe this is what my job has come to. to get back on topic, when i go through my closest and remove unwanted clothes, i never turn it in for money, i go and i donate it to someone less fortunate than me. of course people my age definitely do it as a way to earn a few extra bucks they can spend on drinks or on new clothes, and i think it is okay for us, i mean for one, we aren’t millionaires.

just like the kardashian clan, does he really need MORE money? should there be a cap to how much money you can make, like once you get to a billion thats it, youre done. you have reached your quota. i mean c’mon, who really needs more than a BILLION dollars? once you get to those numbers i think you and youre great great great grandkids are pretty much set. it has to be greed, like a fat person who wont share their food. my boss along with the kardashians and most extremely rich people just need to keep investing their money in more and more businesses, so they can have more of it. LET SOMEONE ELSE! or start paying your employees more, you know the ones who keep your company running, or your brand. if it wasn’t for the waitresses at your restaurant or customer service, or the people who are putting your name out their, you would evidentially be nothing. so instead of all these really rich people continuing to double their assets, they should give more to their employees.. after all a happy employee tends to put more effort into their work, and essentially will end up making you more money in the end.

should i answer it?

i was out to dinner recently, and unintentionally while i was “listening” to a story that i probably didn’t care too much about, my eyes started wandering around the restaurant watching individuals around me. have you ever sat down at a restaurant and just people watched? if you haven’t, next time you should. most likely you will see the same thing at every table, regardless if it is a group of friends out, a couple in love or a family out to dinner, everyone is drowned in their cell phones. is this okay? what ever happened to spending quality time with people? technology is seriously taking over every aspect of our lives. and it isn’t just with people my age, my parents are worse than me! my dad, is iphone obsessed. he sits there while we are at dinner and plays with it. then it is like a chain reaction, my mom takes hers out and i take mine out. so the three of us are sitting at a table, not speaking to each other wrapped up in our phones. i think there should be a rule, no one is allowed to text inside of a restaurant. i first noticed the cell phone isolation problem that night i was at dinner with my parents, but it wasn’t until i was being forced to listen to that oh so interesting story, that it hit me and i was in complete shock. that chain reaction i was talking about, i saw it right before my eyes. there were a group of about seven people sitting at a table close to mine. i started listening to their conversation, because mine was boring dragging on, until one girl reached into her purse, pulled out her phone to check it, and then there it went. one by one everyone started getting out their phones. going on facebook, twitter, texting etc. i couldn’t believe it. i didn’t know what i was more upset about, not being able to ease drop or have to continue listening to the shit coming out of this guys mouth in front of me. but in all seriousness, that is so sad. you’re out with friends but instead you would rather talk to people who aren’t there? the leave your cell phone in your purse / pocket embargo has begun!

technology doesn’t just stop there, what happened to a good ol fashion letter? i can’t even remember the last time i got a letter in the mail that wasn’t a bill, UF asking me for money, or the stupid credit cards upping my limit.. and what ever happened to talking on the phone? i miss those days where i would chit chat for hours upon hours on the phone. now, pah.. you should see how many roll over minutes i have! i have grown to hate it. texting is so impersonal.. sending something like “hey i am running late” should be what texting is used for, but instead, now it is used to get to know someone? really? so what are we supposed to do, just succumb to using hangouts on google+ as a way to hangout with our friends from the comfort of our own homes. is it going to get to a point where i can eat lunch and facetime my friend in boston, who is at lunch too. would i consider that eating w. someone? it is great to be able to facetime with boyfriends or girlfriends who live far away, and it is incredible that you can pretty much use technology to your advantage for a lot of long distance relationships, whether it is with a family memeber, friend or significant other. technology closes the gap, and seems to make thousands of miles dissappear. but there is a time and a place for that, and when you are out with people, that should not be the time nor the place.