please place the tiara on my head

i will do the honors and crown myself as the queen of online shopping, and no, not just online shopping, BARGAIN online shopping. of course, i would love to be able to online shop as if i just won the lotto, but i am not quite at that baller status yet, and a girl has gotta save, so i do quite a bit of online shopping. and by “quite a bit” i do mean every free minute i have. i love going to boutiques around miami and laughing at what they charge for the same shirt i found online. seriously, why would i pay $65 for a skull shirt when i know at least four different online sites (that i visit on the reg.) that are selling them for $24.99 – $32. ugh sorry, i’d rather buy two shirts for the price of one, if ya know what i mean.

but i am real bitchy about telling people where i have found my bargains. i have this theory that if too many people start buying from them, then their prices will go up, and that will totally ruin my game plan! maybe by the end of this post i will develop a soft spot for my followers and share one of them.

tip: best way to save with online shopping is to sign up for their newsletters. yes it sucks getting spammed a million times a day by countless companies, but most of the time, those emails contain lots of beneficial information. for example, one of the new websites i found, i signed up for the newsletter, as i browsed the website, of course had a cart full of items but didn’t actually purchase yet. sure enough i check my email a few hours later and most of the items i had selected had gone on sale, 40% off. that was music to my ears. i literally could have cried from excitement.

tip: lets say you fell in love with a pair of shoes on a website like sam edelmanfind out what the name of the shoe is, go to google, search the shoe (under shopping) and it will show you all the places where you can purchase that shoe, and how much. i do it all the time, and save myself SO MUCH MONEY!

tip: before checkout, google the website you are on, followed by coupons. sometimes you will find awesome coupons, sometimes you won’t, but it doesn’t hurt to check it out.

tip: social media does goes a long way. most companies give you a discount just for liking them on facebook, or following them on twitter.

so today, as i was doing my usual online shopping i came across this super cute tribal sweater. of course i look on all of my websites, since they pretty much carry the same clothes, and here is the perfect example of WHY you should look around before purchasing.

vs

 

buuut the best thing about tobi is you get 50% off your first purchase. ugh talk about a deal! – https://www.tobi.com/i/MzY3NTIx%0A

two burns and a horrible stomach ache later

how my night ended, two burns, and my boyfriend having to cut my food for me, since i was handicapped. i know, i know, HUGE BRAT!

first i would like to start off with a suggestion, pinterest needs to have a please don’t try this at home warning under all images of food. with that said, i will tell you about my attempt to make a caprice dip with garlic bread, asparagus with balsamic tomatoes, chicken rollatini with spinach alla parmigiana (fancy, i know) and brownies for dessert. i don’t know if you know this about me but i can’t cook. no seriously, i can’t. i learned how to peel an onion during my third year of college, and that was ground breaking. eggs, i’ve perfected, well only scrambled, and anything i can heat up in the microwave I AM YOUR GIRL!

at this point i am sure you are asking yourself “why would you do that to yourself, and try and make a four course meal?” well duh cause i have a boyfriend and i need to let him know i can do other things than shop and complain. at least this was my grand idea around 4pm monday. did all the grocery shopping during lunch, i even chopped up the tomatoes, i was ready to take on my kitchen as soon as i got home from work. all i kept thinking was “go big or go home.”

what i should have done was order out. first i took out all the ingredients, so far so good. i decided to start with the chicken rollatini with spinach alla parmigiana (i love the name) since it took the longest. well after the third attempt of adding ingredients, then realizing i added the wrong ingredient to that bowl and it was supposed to go in another bowl, i finally got it… or so i thought. it wasn’t until i had to bread the chicken that i realized thaaaats why i needed the egg, and it wasn’t supposed to be in the spinach concoction i made. whoops, hope he doesn’t notice. as i stare at the chicken, which the directions clearly said i wouldn’t need toothpicks to hold them together, and that they would easily stick – yeah my ass, my chicken con spinach looked NOTHING like the picture. a perfect example of a “nailed it” image.

the chicken goes into the oven, and i start on the asparagus, which was pretty easy. some how i managed to cook the asparagus, prepare the mozzarella for the caprice dip and make the brownie batter all while the chicken was baking. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW WOMEN DO THIS! i seriously have a new found respect for mothers who work all day, and have dinner on the table for their husbands, cause that sure as hell ain’t going to be me. chicken is done. asparagus is done, table is set and all that is left is the easiest thing, the caprice dip, which at this point has turned into my enemy. the cheese wouldn’t melt, or it did melt but it all stuck together and didn’t quite look like a dip, more like a block of cheese. FAIL. now i take the dish out of the scorching hot oven and as i am doing this i almost drop the dish, so what is my first reaction “hey superwoman, the dish isn’t hot, you didn’t just take it out of the oven, lets just grab it with your bare hand.” obviously, i curse everything in sight, and promise myself I WILL NEVER COOK AGAIN! hmph. i mean it’s not for everyone right. some people can’t swim, others can’t ride a bike, i can’t cook. there i said it, I CAN’T COOK!

my boyfriend was a good sport, and ate the food with a smile on his face.  he did inform me that he woke up in the middle of the night with the worst stomach ache of his life… oh well, at least he didn’t die. (as you can tell i am the cup half full kinda girl) but i now have two of the worst burns i have ever had in my life, the food kind of resembled food, and i did not have to call miami-dade fire rescue, so i guess that’s a plus.oh wait, and my boyfriend told me i never have to cook for him again, mission accomplished.

this i promise you.

oh heyyy, did you think i forgot all about you, because i haven’t! we can blame my slight hiatus on my busy life. haha don’t i wish that was true, i blame it on the mere fact that nothing has interested me lately. no matter how tacky someones outfit has been or how annoying men are, they just have not reached that importance for me to write about. damn you writers block, damn you! well this busy life i am oh so quick to brag about has picked up and is becoming quite the exciting one. for starters, after countless interviews, trying to find a social media or pr job (which, was not an easy process, and definitely bruised my ego a little), i finally found one! i have traveled all across south florida, had a phone interview for a company in boston and one in chicago, to think “hell yeah i dominated that interview. for sure i am getting THIS job,” i finally was able to say it and well, it come true! this girl is EMPLOYED!  for those out there trying to find work, i completely understand. those who have a job, don’t take it for granted. nothing is worse than going out and shopping and seeing your bank account just quickly diminish. thank god my responsibilities are limited and i was able to stretch my money for as long as i could. expect when it came to my shopping addiction, no matter how broke i am i find myself at the mall.. ask me how i got there and i can’t tell you, it is like my car is on auto pilot and just takes me there – I SWEAR!

so this exciting life i mentioned, bet you are wondering what is so exciting about it. well, after about 7 years of my friends trying to get me to go to utlra, telling me i will have by far the best time of my life…. i finally went. fine… they were right. maybe not about ultra but about swedish house mafia. completely obsessed at the moment. i can’t stop talking about, thinking about, dreaming about it. i have never been one to be a fan of house music, but after this past weekend…. i have this new found love.

so besides ultra, and my new job, my life has consisted of, well… the gym and going out… and maybe pinterest. i have now planned out my wedding, my dream home, along with closets a girl could only dream of,  filled with clothes and purses i hope to one day afford. although, those are not excuses for me to have stopped writing… i have and i am sorry. i promise i will continue, if not for those who follow me, but for myself. writing is my outlet, i forget about what is going on around me and just let my fingers do the typing. (you wouldn’t believe some of the stuff they say, haha). people tend to put the things they love to do on the back burner because this thing called life gets in the way. moral of the story, if you love doing something, make time for it. this is my april resolution, who says you need to start jan. 1?

follow me on pinterest to see more of what i like, fitness tips, what i want to make, and what i hope my life will one day be!

guuuuy re-lax.

if you are from miami you have probably seen the video “shit miami girls and guys say.” the people who made that video could not have been more on point. seriously, it was perfect, and a little embarrassing when watching it, especially when you realize you say pretty much everything mentioned. the video has inspired me, so here is my list:

you know you are from miami when…

1. there are more girls with fake boobs than real ones.

2. sweaters, uggs, hoodies and coats all come out when it hits 60 degrees outside, and you swear it has never been colder.

3. we give the key to the city to a rapper. pitbull, dale.

4. being rude is the new nice. people don’t believe in words like please and thank you.

5. a conversation isn’t complete unless the words: guy, dale, or bro have been used.

6. the average height for a man is 5’9.

7. hanging out with your friends consists of drinking or eating.. or both.

8. you root for the heat, dolphins or marlins, only when they are winning, and god forbid we actually win the championship you better believe calle ocho will be filled with plenty of cubans, along with every pot and pan in their home.

9. you don’t know what a blinker is. que?

10. the ultra countdowns begin the day after it ends.

11. going to the beach in january is normal.

12. you have said 305 til i die at least once in your life.

13. tailgating at a dolphins game has more of a turn out than the actual game.

14. knowing someone with a boat is a must.

15. flip flops, what are those? i wear chancletas.

16. men think the proper way to hit on a lady is by honking.

17. when your car is nicer than your house. whaaat it’s true?

18. you can do your grocery shopping while waiting at a red light.

19. every sports team is named after your city, miami dolphins, miami heat, miami marlins, miami hurricanes. (sorry FIU, you’re just not there yet)

guuuuuuy what do you think of life?

can we split a cookie..

i think there is nothing better than when someone makes fun of someone else … to the T. shit girls say part two, seriously… can it get any better! i feel like this guy is walking around me following me with a video camera..

 

enjoy.

 

heyyy so are you good with computers?

my coworker showed me this video today, called “shit girls say”. i am not going to lie, before i started watching it i was quite skeptical because her description was as follows “its about a guy dressed up as a girl saying funny things” like okaaay.. i am only picturing the worst here. after i have viewed it .. i seriously cannot stop laughing. i laugh because ALL of that was true. my most used phrase is probably, “can you do me a favor” or “listen, listen, listennn” … the list goes on. this is by far one of the funniest youtube videos i have seen in a while.

 

what do you think?

should i answer it?

i was out to dinner recently, and unintentionally while i was “listening” to a story that i probably didn’t care too much about, my eyes started wandering around the restaurant watching individuals around me. have you ever sat down at a restaurant and just people watched? if you haven’t, next time you should. most likely you will see the same thing at every table, regardless if it is a group of friends out, a couple in love or a family out to dinner, everyone is drowned in their cell phones. is this okay? what ever happened to spending quality time with people? technology is seriously taking over every aspect of our lives. and it isn’t just with people my age, my parents are worse than me! my dad, is iphone obsessed. he sits there while we are at dinner and plays with it. then it is like a chain reaction, my mom takes hers out and i take mine out. so the three of us are sitting at a table, not speaking to each other wrapped up in our phones. i think there should be a rule, no one is allowed to text inside of a restaurant. i first noticed the cell phone isolation problem that night i was at dinner with my parents, but it wasn’t until i was being forced to listen to that oh so interesting story, that it hit me and i was in complete shock. that chain reaction i was talking about, i saw it right before my eyes. there were a group of about seven people sitting at a table close to mine. i started listening to their conversation, because mine was boring dragging on, until one girl reached into her purse, pulled out her phone to check it, and then there it went. one by one everyone started getting out their phones. going on facebook, twitter, texting etc. i couldn’t believe it. i didn’t know what i was more upset about, not being able to ease drop or have to continue listening to the shit coming out of this guys mouth in front of me. but in all seriousness, that is so sad. you’re out with friends but instead you would rather talk to people who aren’t there? the leave your cell phone in your purse / pocket embargo has begun!

technology doesn’t just stop there, what happened to a good ol fashion letter? i can’t even remember the last time i got a letter in the mail that wasn’t a bill, UF asking me for money, or the stupid credit cards upping my limit.. and what ever happened to talking on the phone? i miss those days where i would chit chat for hours upon hours on the phone. now, pah.. you should see how many roll over minutes i have! i have grown to hate it. texting is so impersonal.. sending something like “hey i am running late” should be what texting is used for, but instead, now it is used to get to know someone? really? so what are we supposed to do, just succumb to using hangouts on google+ as a way to hangout with our friends from the comfort of our own homes. is it going to get to a point where i can eat lunch and facetime my friend in boston, who is at lunch too. would i consider that eating w. someone? it is great to be able to facetime with boyfriends or girlfriends who live far away, and it is incredible that you can pretty much use technology to your advantage for a lot of long distance relationships, whether it is with a family memeber, friend or significant other. technology closes the gap, and seems to make thousands of miles dissappear. but there is a time and a place for that, and when you are out with people, that should not be the time nor the place.

quack. quack.

before i start bashing, i shall admit… i have done it. i put my head down in shame, but i am guilty of doing the…. duck face. *gasp* i know, how can you continue reading this post after knowing that embarrassing information about me! i will say it was not my proudest moment but after a few drinks my lips cant help but form the duck face. in all honesty, i thought i had started it ;p

for those who don’t know what i am talking about do it with me. push your mouth out, kinda as if you were about to give a kiss buuut not quite. duck face offenders think it gives off the illusion of big luscious lips, an awesome jawline and cheekbones a model would kill for. what you really look like, is a moron. no you don’t look sexy, no you don’t look cute, you look stupid. of course, this face would be perfect if we still thought it was cool / liked  had myspace, but we all use facebook now so we have to be mature and just defualt pictures where we look our absolute best (thankkkk you photoshop).

it cracks me up that there has been a song, numerous websites dedicated to this phenomenon and a vast amount of anti duck face sites.  wait wait wait, us normal folks aren’t the only ones who’ve subjected ourselves to the face, Christina Aguilar has been spotted, as well as Kendra Wilkinson, Beyonce, Kim K. and pretty much any other celebrity between the age of 15 and 59. For more celebs, visit here.

so should this trend continue? or do we need to stop it dead in its tracks? personally, i think it is funny and probably wont stop anytime soon, at least not when you mix a camera and alcohol into the equation.

of course i can’t leave you without showing some of my FAVORITE duck face offenders. please don’t kill me!

yours truely:

dear friends, dont check me in.

i am an avid facebooker, i check it about 430,255,231 times a day, so i will not sit here and bash it… but i will ask my dear friends, please ask before checking me in. this whole “check me in” option can get some of us in serious trouble. you know, your trying to avoid going out with someone, you give your excuse, “oh no i dont feel well” bam… youre checked in somewhere.. and there goes that lie. it has happened, and i am sure it will continue, especially with the friends i have. am i the only one who feels like i need to announce to everyone i am with “dont check me in” so i dont get caught in my web of lies?

so do us all (or just me) a favor, ask before checking someone in.

xoxo.

textbooks VS. iPad

A few days ago, I got my hands on my friends iPad and there was nothing like it. I don’t really keep up with the latest gadgets out there, except for my Mac, of course, but my goodness, the iPad was truly something else. It is incredible how amazing movies, websites and games look on it. Almost as if it was fake. It is smaller than a computer and probably just as heavy as my iPhone. It is light weight and durable and allows you to do so much with it.

Individuals aren’t the only ones who seem to be in this iPad craze. In New York, public schools have ordered more than 2,000 iPad’s since its release. That is approximately $1.3 million. SERIOUSLY! I understand technology has come along way from when I was in school (which was NOT that long ago!), but iPads in classrooms! This might be my jealous side, but what happened to the days when kids used those ancient computers to play games like Oregon Trail or Where in the World is Carmen San Diego! When we had to carry around a text book for every single class and our book bags looked more like suitcases (wait… they were. HAHA.. remember those rolling book bags!) Now iPads are replacing text books for older children and are being used as developmental aids for younger children. Those in kindergarten are being introduced to colors and shapes on the iPad.

Personally, I disagree, maybe because I don’t have one, but shouldn’t money from tax payers be going toward increasing the pay of teachers, instead of iPads for every kid in the class?