you can thank me later.

i have been a magazine hoarder these last few months, and a few days ago i finally decided to go through my endless collection of very informative magazines, and by informative of course i am talking about vogue, cosmo and self. if you want i can sit here and give you a synopsis of the do’s and don’ts in the fashion world, how to properly have a fight via text with your boyfriend and share about 47 recipes, and exercises that i plan to incorporate in my life sometime this millennium, or,  i can just tell you my absolute favorite discovery, an app. yes, as in an application for you cell phone (well only iPhone/ipad and android users) everyone else, cmon now… we are in 2013.

this app is unlike any app out there. this one is geared for the person who enjoys the fit life, needs some motivation while working out, or just wants to listen to some damn good mixes. i can promise you, this app will become your new best friend.

back in the day i used to download my own music, upload the songs to my itunes,  spend hours making a playlist that i eventually would get sick of and never listen to again. then, i thought with the discovery of pandora, my life was changed forever, but with pandora comes the same 20 songs and commercials every 10 minutes – yes time is saved, but the aggravation still lingers. about a week ago, while i was flipping through self (or was it women’s health, maybe it was fitness magazine)  there was a list of apps for the fitness junkie. i had most of them, since i always download the latest calorie counter or fad diet app, use it for a week then forget it exists. mixed in the list was FIT RADIO, an app for those who like to workout.

fitradiothe concept behind FIT radio, is like pandora but not, because it is so much better. NO commercials, just the best workout mixes in the entire world. after i downloaded the app i had to try it out, so i went for a run, and if you know me the stair master i’d die for, but a treadmill…. lets just say i would rather do 100 burpees!  i ran for so long that by the time i had realized i was running, it had been15 minutes! i almost went into cardiac arrest when i discovered i ran for so long with out a single negative thought and cursing the person who invented a treadmill in my head. it had to be FIT Radio. it was like a new romance had just sparked. i wanted to tell everyone about it, and this week  i found my self getting excited at the thought of doing cardio.

what is so awesome about FIT Radio? well, you can choose a genre geared to your target BPM. the application also offers stations targeted to a certain workout – 10k/5k run, zumba!, 90’s in the gym etc. it even offers a station for our beloved meat heads. FIT radio’s mission is to increase motivation, stimulate endorphins, and amp workouts, and i can testify, it does. OH, and did i mention, IT IS FREE.

i put it to test yesterday in my gym class. the instructor needed music, so i generously offered my phone. after each song that played i could hear people “omg this mix is awesome,” and i gushed to myself as if i was the dj that created the mix.

xoxo.

two burns and a horrible stomach ache later

how my night ended, two burns, and my boyfriend having to cut my food for me, since i was handicapped. i know, i know, HUGE BRAT!

first i would like to start off with a suggestion, pinterest needs to have a please don’t try this at home warning under all images of food. with that said, i will tell you about my attempt to make a caprice dip with garlic bread, asparagus with balsamic tomatoes, chicken rollatini with spinach alla parmigiana (fancy, i know) and brownies for dessert. i don’t know if you know this about me but i can’t cook. no seriously, i can’t. i learned how to peel an onion during my third year of college, and that was ground breaking. eggs, i’ve perfected, well only scrambled, and anything i can heat up in the microwave I AM YOUR GIRL!

at this point i am sure you are asking yourself “why would you do that to yourself, and try and make a four course meal?” well duh cause i have a boyfriend and i need to let him know i can do other things than shop and complain. at least this was my grand idea around 4pm monday. did all the grocery shopping during lunch, i even chopped up the tomatoes, i was ready to take on my kitchen as soon as i got home from work. all i kept thinking was “go big or go home.”

what i should have done was order out. first i took out all the ingredients, so far so good. i decided to start with the chicken rollatini with spinach alla parmigiana (i love the name) since it took the longest. well after the third attempt of adding ingredients, then realizing i added the wrong ingredient to that bowl and it was supposed to go in another bowl, i finally got it… or so i thought. it wasn’t until i had to bread the chicken that i realized thaaaats why i needed the egg, and it wasn’t supposed to be in the spinach concoction i made. whoops, hope he doesn’t notice. as i stare at the chicken, which the directions clearly said i wouldn’t need toothpicks to hold them together, and that they would easily stick – yeah my ass, my chicken con spinach looked NOTHING like the picture. a perfect example of a “nailed it” image.

the chicken goes into the oven, and i start on the asparagus, which was pretty easy. some how i managed to cook the asparagus, prepare the mozzarella for the caprice dip and make the brownie batter all while the chicken was baking. I HAVE NO IDEA HOW WOMEN DO THIS! i seriously have a new found respect for mothers who work all day, and have dinner on the table for their husbands, cause that sure as hell ain’t going to be me. chicken is done. asparagus is done, table is set and all that is left is the easiest thing, the caprice dip, which at this point has turned into my enemy. the cheese wouldn’t melt, or it did melt but it all stuck together and didn’t quite look like a dip, more like a block of cheese. FAIL. now i take the dish out of the scorching hot oven and as i am doing this i almost drop the dish, so what is my first reaction “hey superwoman, the dish isn’t hot, you didn’t just take it out of the oven, lets just grab it with your bare hand.” obviously, i curse everything in sight, and promise myself I WILL NEVER COOK AGAIN! hmph. i mean it’s not for everyone right. some people can’t swim, others can’t ride a bike, i can’t cook. there i said it, I CAN’T COOK!

my boyfriend was a good sport, and ate the food with a smile on his face.  he did inform me that he woke up in the middle of the night with the worst stomach ache of his life… oh well, at least he didn’t die. (as you can tell i am the cup half full kinda girl) but i now have two of the worst burns i have ever had in my life, the food kind of resembled food, and i did not have to call miami-dade fire rescue, so i guess that’s a plus.oh wait, and my boyfriend told me i never have to cook for him again, mission accomplished.

you ain’t sexy, and i know it.

what is it about men that gives them this utter confidence to think they are hot shit and can just do as they please. i am in disbelief right now and hope that i am not the only one. you go out, you meet a guy, you have great conversation, you then give him your number.. if he calls, he calls, if he doesn’t who cares. (at least that’s how i look at it..) so lets just say this guy does end up contacting you the next day…. you exchange a few texts, ya know … no biggie. day two of texting rolls around and after the “hello, how was your day text” you receive a picture.. and no not of him smiling, or of one of those funny/sarcastic ecards that one loves to receive (hint.. hint). this picture was of  him without his shirt on. WHAT THE FUCK? seriously? one, i did not ask for you to send me this picture, two i could have definitely done w. out it, unless you are sporting a six pack that looks absolutely delish (please refer to picture A below), then do not send shirtless pictures of yourself to anyone besides yo mama – unless, of course one asks for them.

the worst thing about this entire situation, is that this isn’t the first time a guy has done this. just because a girl has a conversation with you, DOES NOT MEAN SHE WANTS TO BONE YOU. i can’t grasp the way a man thinks. i just don’t get it. am i crazy? is it me who feels that this is completely uncalled for and out of line? are girls doing this? are they just sending pictures of themselves half naked saying “hey check it out, i just went HAM at the gym,” cause if they are, ladies please put your shirts back on and take one for the team. if i see one more unattractive picture sent to my cell phone i might have to gouge my eyes out.

picture a:

sexy six pack ryan gosling

point is, if you look like this, then please mass text me every shirtless picture you take. but if you don’t, then keep it to yourself. THANKKSSS.

this i promise you.

oh heyyy, did you think i forgot all about you, because i haven’t! we can blame my slight hiatus on my busy life. haha don’t i wish that was true, i blame it on the mere fact that nothing has interested me lately. no matter how tacky someones outfit has been or how annoying men are, they just have not reached that importance for me to write about. damn you writers block, damn you! well this busy life i am oh so quick to brag about has picked up and is becoming quite the exciting one. for starters, after countless interviews, trying to find a social media or pr job (which, was not an easy process, and definitely bruised my ego a little), i finally found one! i have traveled all across south florida, had a phone interview for a company in boston and one in chicago, to think “hell yeah i dominated that interview. for sure i am getting THIS job,” i finally was able to say it and well, it come true! this girl is EMPLOYED!  for those out there trying to find work, i completely understand. those who have a job, don’t take it for granted. nothing is worse than going out and shopping and seeing your bank account just quickly diminish. thank god my responsibilities are limited and i was able to stretch my money for as long as i could. expect when it came to my shopping addiction, no matter how broke i am i find myself at the mall.. ask me how i got there and i can’t tell you, it is like my car is on auto pilot and just takes me there – I SWEAR!

so this exciting life i mentioned, bet you are wondering what is so exciting about it. well, after about 7 years of my friends trying to get me to go to utlra, telling me i will have by far the best time of my life…. i finally went. fine… they were right. maybe not about ultra but about swedish house mafia. completely obsessed at the moment. i can’t stop talking about, thinking about, dreaming about it. i have never been one to be a fan of house music, but after this past weekend…. i have this new found love.

so besides ultra, and my new job, my life has consisted of, well… the gym and going out… and maybe pinterest. i have now planned out my wedding, my dream home, along with closets a girl could only dream of,  filled with clothes and purses i hope to one day afford. although, those are not excuses for me to have stopped writing… i have and i am sorry. i promise i will continue, if not for those who follow me, but for myself. writing is my outlet, i forget about what is going on around me and just let my fingers do the typing. (you wouldn’t believe some of the stuff they say, haha). people tend to put the things they love to do on the back burner because this thing called life gets in the way. moral of the story, if you love doing something, make time for it. this is my april resolution, who says you need to start jan. 1?

follow me on pinterest to see more of what i like, fitness tips, what i want to make, and what i hope my life will one day be!

flower bomb.

dear the women of miami, i have a little question for you, can someone please please PLEASE tell me why every female in dade-county has that stupid flower on their dashboard? the first time i saw this flower, it was about two months ago (which at the time, it was a growing fad and only 1 out of every 7 cars had it). i remember walking in a parking lot, glancing into a car and noticing this little flower/bobble head type thing on the dashboard. i am not going to lie, it startled me. it was just there, car off, no one in sight, just bobbing away. so either a ghost is sitting in the car having a time of its life, or there is something more to it. luckily, i was with one of my friends and she informed me that this is the “in” thing now and that everyone at her job has one. i of course ask her what it does, and she looks at me like i am from another planet, smiles and simply says “it does nothing, it just works off of solar power or something like that.” well now i must know more.. there has to be something else to it. there has to be a reason why everyone has this thing.  so i ask, well is it an air freshener? her reply is:  no, it literally does nothing. okay okay okay let me get this straight, thousands of women in miami are putting this little flower bobble head thing on their dashboard for no other purpose than it bobbles? i find it to be the most distracting ornament you can put in your car, especially with no sole purpose.

the more and more i see cars driving around with this flower, the more and more i have the urge to throw something at their car. (anger management, i know.) basically my days from that day that i discovered the little bobble head until now have consisted of wondering why people put this flower in their car.. actually today at a red light i was surrounded by them, so i just had to blog about it (and do a little research while i was at it). i found one that has a camera, okay .. i see the purpose in that. maybe for your house, i don’t really see the point of having one in your car.. i mean if someone is going to steal your car, i am pretty sure you won’t be getting your flower back, but i will give it to those who are ubber paranoid. but i knew that couldn’t be right, i know that all these women in miami can’t be this paranoid. i turned to my trusty friend google to find out more, and i found them on another website. apparently they aren’t called flower bobble heads but rather solar motion dancing flip flap flowers – i like my name better. so these flip flap flowers cost about $4, which is another reason why people  have these mock gardens on their dashboards, this tacky trend is cheap.

this is the description found on that website: Solar Motion Dancing Flowers are a must have for any desk or room! Solar Powered Dancing Flowers, also known as Flip Flap Flower or Flip Flop Flowers, are the cutest thing you can put on your desk, car dashboard, or table. These solar powered flowers do not require batteries…ever! Imagine how much you’ll save on not having to buy batteries for your Solar Flower. It’s almost like you will be making money on these cute dancing flowers (sunlight is free, after all). Put a Solar Dancing Flower on your desk to add some color, motion, and inspiration to your workspace.

first of all, these are not, i repeat are NOT the cutest thing you can put on your desk, or car. luckily no one i know has one on their desk or i would go around using it as a softball. secondly, “these solar powered flowers do not require batteries… ever! imagine how much money you’ll save not having to buy batteries” well just imagine how much more money you would save if you don’t buy one of these flip flap flipity flop flowers.. and that would be four dollars, or $3.99 to be exact. third, are they really trying to sell it that you can make money off of this? unless this flower can use the solar power it is storing to run my car, or spit out money, then i don’t see how i will be making any money off of this useless object.

those three little words..

lets say something happens to you, something you think is huge… maybe in others eyes it is just a small little problem but in your eyes, this something is catastrophic and you feel as if your world is coming to an end. you turn to your friends for support and before you tell them your problem you say those three magic words, “don’t. tell. anyone.” within minutes you look at your cell phone and everyone you have known since middle school is texting you with “omg are you okay”. (okay, fine i am exaggerating…not since middle school, but all your close friends, and their close friends and maybe their close friends have found out your latest drama.) why is it when you say “don’t tell anyone” it is as if those words are code for: yes, spread my business all over town after i just asked you not to tell a soul. i have a few friends, (who i am sure are reading this right now, and YES, I AM TALKING ABOUT YOU), who do not know the meaning of the phrase, “don’t tell anyone.” even the most obscure people end up finding out. like really? how? well this is how, simple equation. blabber mouth tells x+y+z, then x+y+z each tell their own x+y+z, then those tell a few more and bam, everyone within a 30 mile radius has just found out. how do you solve this equation, eliminate your friend… haha, if only it was that simple.. i guess this would be my (your) own fault. you think after the 13435234578864th time it has happened, you would stop telling that friend your secrets… but for some reason you just keep going back and hoping that maybe after the -insert number above here- they will finally shut their trap and not tell anyone. but i have figured out how to avoid your business from making it front page news. nonchalantly, as if it is no big deal, say your problem. whatever you do, don’t put any emphasis on what the problem really is. push comes to shove, come up with another issue and say, “omg don’t tell anyone” about that situation, then sneak attack the real issue at hand. when you don’t make a big deal about what you don’t want others to talk about, they seem to not care.. as soon as those three words escape your mouth, everything around you seems to stop, and all ears are on you. every precise detail has now been recorded and will be on repeat for the next week and a half.

moral of the story, avoid using phrases like “don’t tell anyone,” and while we are on that subject, avoid at all costs saying, “don’t look” because that is an open invitation to stare at whatever it is you don’t want them to look at.

guuuuy re-lax.

if you are from miami you have probably seen the video “shit miami girls and guys say.” the people who made that video could not have been more on point. seriously, it was perfect, and a little embarrassing when watching it, especially when you realize you say pretty much everything mentioned. the video has inspired me, so here is my list:

you know you are from miami when…

1. there are more girls with fake boobs than real ones.

2. sweaters, uggs, hoodies and coats all come out when it hits 60 degrees outside, and you swear it has never been colder.

3. we give the key to the city to a rapper. pitbull, dale.

4. being rude is the new nice. people don’t believe in words like please and thank you.

5. a conversation isn’t complete unless the words: guy, dale, or bro have been used.

6. the average height for a man is 5’9.

7. hanging out with your friends consists of drinking or eating.. or both.

8. you root for the heat, dolphins or marlins, only when they are winning, and god forbid we actually win the championship you better believe calle ocho will be filled with plenty of cubans, along with every pot and pan in their home.

9. you don’t know what a blinker is. que?

10. the ultra countdowns begin the day after it ends.

11. going to the beach in january is normal.

12. you have said 305 til i die at least once in your life.

13. tailgating at a dolphins game has more of a turn out than the actual game.

14. knowing someone with a boat is a must.

15. flip flops, what are those? i wear chancletas.

16. men think the proper way to hit on a lady is by honking.

17. when your car is nicer than your house. whaaat it’s true?

18. you can do your grocery shopping while waiting at a red light.

19. every sports team is named after your city, miami dolphins, miami heat, miami marlins, miami hurricanes. (sorry FIU, you’re just not there yet)

guuuuuuy what do you think of life?

balls to the wall

as a woman we have essentials that we carry around with us everywhere we go. we have our wallets, cell phones, keys, four different pens, gum, headphones, sunglasses, lady products and of course make-up (because you never know where you are going to end up). we try to organize things so that way we don’t have everything just floating around our purses. wallets for our cash and credit cards, make-up cases for our well make-up, pencil cases for our pens, i mean really the list can go on and i am pretty sure you get the picture. but we have these things to make our lives easier.

now, let me introduce you to probably most practical product ever made for a woman. trust me, after i tell you what it is you are going to go out and buy it. swearZ. and the product is…. lip balm. haha i know, this was probably invented in the medieval times, but this isn’t like any other lip balm. this lip balm was made for the woman who has a purse bigger than a suitcase, for the woman who travels with her life but can never seem to find anything in her purse… and you can thank me later. it is called eos, it comes in a variety of flavors and is shaped like a ball, hence the ease of finding it in any size purse. i think the convenience factor outweighs every thing else, because it literally saves me from having to stop everything i am doing to then stick my head in my purse to search for my lip balm that can easily be mistaken for lipstick, pens, crayons, markers, liquid eye liner, a roll of pennies (don’t ask). i mean how many ball-shaped objects do you have in your purse? EXACTLY!

okay so why should you run out to cvs and buy it? one. convenience. two. it is organic. three. it moisturizes your lips. four. conversation starter. (i have had almost every flavor of this balm and no matter where i am, no matter what color the little egg-shaped lip balm is, i always get stopped and asked about it. the first thing i tell them is… CONVENIENCE – GO GET IT!!) five. i love mint, and their mint lip balm is, well, the shit.

have you seen candice?

i guess i should start off by saying HAPPY NEW YEAR. i am very disappointed in myself, 10 days into the new year and this is my first post, i put my head down in shame. 2012 huh? this is supposed to be a big year for me. i am 23 years old, i have the world at my feet.. but how do i take that first step in beginning my life and set out to do everything i envision myself doing? how do you actually start your life? yes, technically my life began the second i came out of my mothers’ hooha, but that was the pre-game. the last 23 years have been a warm up, the mere stretch before a marathon… my life starts now. i have been out of school for almost 2 years, i have had countless jobs that have left me miserable and discouraged. do i want to continue doing what i am doing? do i want to start something new? now is a better time than any to find myself, as cliche as that sounds. what i know i want to do is move away, i know i want to go to school again, and i know that i want to write. now, where do i want to go? no idea. what do i want to go to school for? again, no idea. what do i want to write about? ha.. stumped. basically i am lost. i might be suffering from a mid-quarter-life crisis. i’m not really worried though, i feel like i will figure it all out and i will live in that deluxe apartment in the sky, but until then, i am quite put off and maybe a little scared. i know eventually all the pieces to the puzzle will fall into place, but waiting for that moment is torture. it is hard to picture yourself living somewhere and doing something, but don’t really know how to get to that point. does that even make sense? you see, i am so confused!

december in a wrap

december. my birthday. my birthday. my birthday. christmas. (those were my activities), now here is what i wore.

rachel roy blazer + michael kors shirt

bar III shirt

dress, american apparel

kimichi blue jane dress

vintage shirt // skirt – sparkle & fade lame skirt

bow – forever21

2012, will be all about pictures, and of course posts.

hopefully i will have another post before the new year, but if not… i hope everyone stays safe!