thou shall not… annoy

Etiquette and Facebook, two words that don’t usually go hand in hand. We all know the importance Facebook plays in our lives now a days. You can deny it if you want, but if you are under the age of 75 you most likely have a Facebook (except for my dad, who i think is the only person on the face of this planet to not have a Facebook) and go on it at least a hundred times a day! Buuuut, are you doing everything in your power to annoy your friends on Facebook? Most likely – so to avoid that, here are the 10 commandments of Facebook (thanks Lindsay for showing me the commandments) … with my own comments.

1.  Thou shall not post or tag friends on embarrassing or incriminating photos.

I can speak from experience… as the photog and the poor victim who’s picture was put on Facebook. Untagging doesn’t do anything.. the pictures are STILL up and people can STILL see them. So from one Facebooker to an other, lets stop putting up these pictures that make you instantly text your friend and say DELETE!

2.  Thou shall not post photo or video updates of thy children’s potty training.

I think this one is cute. DISAGREE.

3.  Thou shall not use Facebook to converse with thine own significant other.

Seriously. BARF! No one wants to see pictures of you making out with your boyfriend/girlfriend, no one wants to read cheesy statuses and NO ONE wants to know how deeply in love you are on an average of 87421 times a day. GET OVER IT. Yes! you did it, you have a significant other, congrats!.. now, go get a life.

4.  Thou shall not endlessly self-promote.

This goes out to all of you who need votes to win a photoshoot or flowers for your wedding. Really? I have better things to do with my life than sit here and vote for you. So PLEASE stop sending mass messages, flooding my inbox and driving me crazy.

5.  Thou shall not propose, ask someone out, or dump anyone via wall messages or status updates.

LMAO. If I was proposed to, or asked out on Facebook I would seriously need to reevaluate the relationship I am in. I mean, I know its not official unless its on Facebook but, cmon! My guy  better get down on one knee, and not do it via the internet. Lets just not even get into dumping someone via Facebook, (which I would have to say is worse than a sticky note or text message). Class people, what happened to that?

6.  Thou shall not IM anyone you haven’t spoken to in over a decade.

Haha, this one is funny. Yes we are Facebook friends, but it really doesn’t go more than that… except for an awkward conversation. You all know what I am talking about, the hey, how are you? followed by the i’m good. we should totally catch up one of these days! You both agree, and then never speak again.

7.  Thou shall not stalk exes and/or ex’s new loves.

We all do it. If you are not friends with them, you know your best friend is. We must stop, put an end to this madness. Just remember, you broke up for a reason.

8.  Thou shall not use Facebook as a diet and workout diary.

YAY! you ran 43.32 miles in 10 minues! WOOT!!! Start a blog, put it on there, but stop posting it on Facebook. And while you are at it, (this is for guys) stop posting pictures of yourself in the bathroom showing off your muscles – you are worse than a chick.

9.  Thou shall not “spoil” TV shows in one’s status update.

YES! Please! God forbid it is a season finale, you better believe your news feed is filled with a play by play of what is happening on the show.

10. Thou shall post clear, updated photos of thyself.

We want to see what you look like NOW not that point in your life when you looked good.

antoine dodson, from rags to riches.

“He’s climbing in your windows, he’s snatchin your people up – tryna rape em so y’all need to hide your kids, hide your wife…” If you haven’t watched this YouTube video, seen the Halloween costume or heard the musical remix (which made it to Billboard Top 100 list) then you are hiding under a HUGE rock.

Antoine Dodson – a YouTube LEGEND, an internet sensation and a household name. Dodson can thank his fame to an interview he had with a local television station. He was being interviewed because of a home intrusion and attempted rape of his sister.  After the interview was uploaded to YouTube, like wild fire, it spread to more than 26 million computer screens.

The success of the video, led the Gregory Brothers to turn the video into an auto-tuned song called the “Bed Intruder Song” (yeah real creative huh?). The song made its way to the top of the iTunes chart (and of course number 89 on Billboard’s Hot 100). If that’s not ridiculous enough, Hayley Williams of Paramore, Jordan Pundik of New Found Glory and Ethan Luck of Relient K made a punk rock cover of the song.

Dodson’s website asks for donations to assist his family in moving “out of the hood”, (which i would assume they have done,  with the success of both the song AND the video). Money made from the “Bed Intruder Song” is also going to a foundation that has been setup for juvenile diabetes – a disease both his mother and sister had. By September 2010, the Gregory Brothers reported that they had sold more than 100,000 copies of the song on iTunes.

The Bed Intruder Song was the most viewed YouTube video of 2010, it was chosen as the “Meme of the Year” in the 2010 Urlies – both as the People’s Choice and the Editors’ Choice – while the original video of Dodson’s television interview was the “Video of the Year” – People’s Choice. (thank you Wikipedia)

… and now! Dodson went onto the Lopez Tonight and performed with comedian Kelly Pryce their new anti-Kris Kringle anthem, “Chimney Intruder” (just know, sequels are never as good as an original).

I think it is pretty surreal how things are now a days. A simple video added to an online site can ultimately change your whole life. I wonder whats next, I’ve already seen a talking lizard, scarlet taking a tumble and of course the kid getting hit by an ice cream truck. Who will be the next YouTube superstar? Bring it 2011, I am ready!

the perfect gift to save your relationship

As a woman I can tell you that I will say one thing.. but expect you, as the man to know EXACTLY what I want, feel, need and think. Seriously, I just don’t understand how you don’t get what I want!  I am only telling you that I am fine, when I am not — and instead, I am actually extremely upset. I do however, expect to come home to flowers and a string quartet me outside my door.. (even if the reason I am upset has NOTHING to do with you.) C’mon guys, it’s really not that hard.

So this, the manslator, is a gift for a man — a man who is oblivious to every thing a woman says.

farmville for dummies #fail

For $13.14 you can pre-order your very own FarmVille for Dummies, on Amazon. I don’t know whether to judge the creators of this book, or the people who will end up purchasing it. The book doesn’t hit stands until Februrary 15 of 2011 (which I am in utter disbelief that it is actually hitting stands, and if this book makes it to any best seller list I will need to reevaluate the world as I know it).

FarmVille is a game.. where you create your own farm, have crops and your friends become your neighbors. There isn’t much too it, at least not enough skill behind it to create a book for dummies (literally.. HAHA). According to Amazon, FarmVille For Dummies is aimed at getting novices acquainted with FarmVille rules and regulations, while more savvy players can sharpen their skills and find out how to stay up to date on the latest FarmVille features … SERIOUSLY!

There are currently  55 million active users on Facebook playing FarmVille, which was made by Zynga (thanks Zynga!) which has become the fastest growing franchise to date.

and the winner is… SWAGGER WAGON

Best viral ad of 2010 would have to be Toyota’s Swagger Wagon. This video literally gave me a crouched over, holding my stomach, can’t breathe kinda laugh. The video was a huge success for Toyota with over seven million views. With so much time spent on the internet companies are putting out viral ads to spread their product and attract attention to their brand and of course new customers.

dear Facebook fads, GO AWAY!

Is it just me or is anyone else annoyed with the new Facebook fad of the week? First, it was “make your status the color bra you are wearing – to support Breast Cancer”, then it was “doppelganger week” to “where do you like it – your purse that is”, also to support Breast Cancer, to of course changing your default to a cartoon character to raise awareness for child abuse. As soon as that ended it was “send me a number and a question and i’ll answer it as my status” – aka I want to annoy every single one of my Facebook friends.

Okay, so I am not going to sit here and pretend I did not participate in these viral fads – I definitely did. I would like to think my doppelganger was L.C (of course in the picture I choose, she had huge bug-eyed sunglasses on, so our only similarities were that we both have mouths, and dirty blonde hair).

Good news, according to the Washington Post, Susan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation page on Facebook had a whopping 140,000 new fans last January – when ladies put up their bra color.

Last week about 50 percent of my Facebook friends changed their profile picture to their favorite cartoon character from their childhood. This was in hopes to stop child abuse. Really? How? Maybe to spread awareness, but there is no possible way this had any correlation with preventing child abuse. Gawker and The Daily What apparently felt the same way I do.

GAWKER: So, abuse any kids today?

CHILD ABUSER: Nope.

GAWKER: Why not?

CHILD ABUSER: It’s this cartoon thing. I guess I never realized people cared so much about child abuse that they would go to the trouble of changing their Facebook avatar.

GAWKER: Actually, they’re changing their profile pictures for the whole weekend.

CHILD ABUSER: Dear God…

GAWKER: Some people are even “liking” their friends’ Facebook status updates about the campaign. That’s how much they hate child abuse.

CHILD ABUSER: Can you point me to the nearest police station? I need to turn myself in.”

Besides awareness for Breast Cancer, the other fads are there to just bug you! In the past two days my news feed has been spammed with people writing ### followed by something about the person who sent them that specific number in their inbox. Now answer me this, why can’t you just write back to them, why must you put it as your status… because speaking for probably the majority of Facebook users, NO ONE CARES!

hey, wanna skype?

Facebook just one-upped the one-upper. Skype is coming to a Facebook near you! Facebook application developer Tal Ater has spotted “VideoChat” in Facebook’s code. Skype, last month revealed a deep integration with Facebook, but how is it going to work? Are you going to need a Skype account in order to use this feature? I think the term Facebook Stalking just took a new turn. Ater predicts that Facebook is testing the feature with a select group of users as the code doesn’t appear every time the page is loaded, according to Mashable.

In all honesty, I am getting a little excited. As if my Skype obsession isn’t bad enough you add Facebook to the mix, oh noooo. I feel bad for all those relationships that already are having problems due to Facebook, now with Skype, lying is OUT of the question.