you ain’t sexy, and i know it.

what is it about men that gives them this utter confidence to think they are hot shit and can just do as they please. i am in disbelief right now and hope that i am not the only one. you go out, you meet a guy, you have great conversation, you then give him your number.. if he calls, he calls, if he doesn’t who cares. (at least that’s how i look at it..) so lets just say this guy does end up contacting you the next day…. you exchange a few texts, ya know … no biggie. day two of texting rolls around and after the “hello, how was your day text” you receive a picture.. and no not of him smiling, or of one of those funny/sarcastic ecards that one loves to receive (hint.. hint). this picture was of  him without his shirt on. WHAT THE FUCK? seriously? one, i did not ask for you to send me this picture, two i could have definitely done w. out it, unless you are sporting a six pack that looks absolutely delish (please refer to picture A below), then do not send shirtless pictures of yourself to anyone besides yo mama – unless, of course one asks for them.

the worst thing about this entire situation, is that this isn’t the first time a guy has done this. just because a girl has a conversation with you, DOES NOT MEAN SHE WANTS TO BONE YOU. i can’t grasp the way a man thinks. i just don’t get it. am i crazy? is it me who feels that this is completely uncalled for and out of line? are girls doing this? are they just sending pictures of themselves half naked saying “hey check it out, i just went HAM at the gym,” cause if they are, ladies please put your shirts back on and take one for the team. if i see one more unattractive picture sent to my cell phone i might have to gouge my eyes out.

picture a:

sexy six pack ryan gosling

point is, if you look like this, then please mass text me every shirtless picture you take. but if you don’t, then keep it to yourself. THANKKSSS.


eff you disney, eff you.

i need new friends. okay that sounded a little mean. i don’t really need new friends, i love the ones i have with all my heart but they are completely making me give up on love. each and every one of them, is in the process of going through a failed relationship. (with the exception of like two). from boyfriends cheating, to their significant other falling out of love with them, to guys not putting in enough effort.. i seriously am looking at the whole spectrum here. i hear this all day long, every day. it makes wanting to be in a relationship, the absolute last thing i would ever do. why would you set your self up to get hurt? no thanks. a friend of mine was saying “how am i supposed to allow myself to like a guy when i feel like his only intention is to get in my pants” … thankkkk you! girls have to question a guys motive, probably because our guy friends have a one track mind, so we think ALL guys are like that. at least the ones who i deal with. ugh. aggravation at its fullest. i have met plenty guys, its like the same personality with a different face. the same pick up lines. the same stupid questions. you’d think it was a trend with miami guys, that they have this stupid mentality, they are arrogant and self centered, that they only care about themselves, but no its not just miami guys.. its all guys. from new york, to boston, to seattle to vegas… it doesn’t matter they have let my friends and i down.

i blame our hope for prince charming on disney. thank you for instilling the thought of finding mr.right, mr. ill come sweep you off of your feet, or even mr. ill chase you down when you lose your glass slipper. that is the problem with girls, we think we live in a movie. we think when we get in a fight with a guy they are going to fight til the death for us, that they will show up on our door step with a dozen roses apologizing for being an asshole. but guys aren’t like that. so thanks disney for leaving us with false hope. allowing us to grow up with the idea and dream of finding our prince, one who will love us unconditionally and treat us like a princess. it is your fault, that we are left with broken hearts and empty promises. we expect the grand gestures and when we don’t get them, we end up broken. this is why so many people end up in shitty relationships, because we still hope they will change. we hope they will turn into our prince charming. we try to copy what we grew up watching. is a happily ever after so much to ask?

all i am asking is for one trip on a magic carpet so mr. right can show me the world, to kiss that frog who will change my life or to fall asleep from taking a bite of an apple i had bought at windixie, only to be awaken by a kiss from my soul mate. i wouldn’t even mind losing a pair of expensive shoes at midnight if that means meeting any guy who isnt like a guy i have already met. now, is that too much to ask? i blame you ariel, and the rest of the make believe gang for why i don’t have a boyfriend. i have made these unrealistic expectations of what i want my boyfriend to be like, and no one even comes close to meeting them.