flower bomb.

dear the women of miami, i have a little question for you, can someone please please PLEASE tell me why every female in dade-county has that stupid flower on their dashboard? the first time i saw this flower, it was about two months ago (which at the time, it was a growing fad and only 1 out of every 7 cars had it). i remember walking in a parking lot, glancing into a car and noticing this little flower/bobble head type thing on the dashboard. i am not going to lie, it startled me. it was just there, car off, no one in sight, just bobbing away. so either a ghost is sitting in the car having a time of its life, or there is something more to it. luckily, i was with one of my friends and she informed me that this is the “in” thing now and that everyone at her job has one. i of course ask her what it does, and she looks at me like i am from another planet, smiles and simply says “it does nothing, it just works off of solar power or something like that.” well now i must know more.. there has to be something else to it. there has to be a reason why everyone has this thing.  so i ask, well is it an air freshener? her reply is:  no, it literally does nothing. okay okay okay let me get this straight, thousands of women in miami are putting this little flower bobble head thing on their dashboard for no other purpose than it bobbles? i find it to be the most distracting ornament you can put in your car, especially with no sole purpose.

the more and more i see cars driving around with this flower, the more and more i have the urge to throw something at their car. (anger management, i know.) basically my days from that day that i discovered the little bobble head until now have consisted of wondering why people put this flower in their car.. actually today at a red light i was surrounded by them, so i just had to blog about it (and do a little research while i was at it). i found one that has a camera, okay .. i see the purpose in that. maybe for your house, i don’t really see the point of having one in your car.. i mean if someone is going to steal your car, i am pretty sure you won’t be getting your flower back, but i will give it to those who are ubber paranoid. but i knew that couldn’t be right, i know that all these women in miami can’t be this paranoid. i turned to my trusty friend google to find out more, and i found them on another website. apparently they aren’t called flower bobble heads but rather solar motion dancing flip flap flowers – i like my name better. so these flip flap flowers cost about $4, which is another reason why people  have these mock gardens on their dashboards, this tacky trend is cheap.

this is the description found on that website: Solar Motion Dancing Flowers are a must have for any desk or room! Solar Powered Dancing Flowers, also known as Flip Flap Flower or Flip Flop Flowers, are the cutest thing you can put on your desk, car dashboard, or table. These solar powered flowers do not require batteries…ever! Imagine how much you’ll save on not having to buy batteries for your Solar Flower. It’s almost like you will be making money on these cute dancing flowers (sunlight is free, after all). Put a Solar Dancing Flower on your desk to add some color, motion, and inspiration to your workspace.

first of all, these are not, i repeat are NOT the cutest thing you can put on your desk, or car. luckily no one i know has one on their desk or i would go around using it as a softball. secondly, “these solar powered flowers do not require batteries… ever! imagine how much money you’ll save not having to buy batteries” well just imagine how much more money you would save if you don’t buy one of these flip flap flipity flop flowers.. and that would be four dollars, or $3.99 to be exact. third, are they really trying to sell it that you can make money off of this? unless this flower can use the solar power it is storing to run my car, or spit out money, then i don’t see how i will be making any money off of this useless object.

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guuuuy re-lax.

if you are from miami you have probably seen the video “shit miami girls and guys say.” the people who made that video could not have been more on point. seriously, it was perfect, and a little embarrassing when watching it, especially when you realize you say pretty much everything mentioned. the video has inspired me, so here is my list:

you know you are from miami when…

1. there are more girls with fake boobs than real ones.

2. sweaters, uggs, hoodies and coats all come out when it hits 60 degrees outside, and you swear it has never been colder.

3. we give the key to the city to a rapper. pitbull, dale.

4. being rude is the new nice. people don’t believe in words like please and thank you.

5. a conversation isn’t complete unless the words: guy, dale, or bro have been used.

6. the average height for a man is 5’9.

7. hanging out with your friends consists of drinking or eating.. or both.

8. you root for the heat, dolphins or marlins, only when they are winning, and god forbid we actually win the championship you better believe calle ocho will be filled with plenty of cubans, along with every pot and pan in their home.

9. you don’t know what a blinker is. que?

10. the ultra countdowns begin the day after it ends.

11. going to the beach in january is normal.

12. you have said 305 til i die at least once in your life.

13. tailgating at a dolphins game has more of a turn out than the actual game.

14. knowing someone with a boat is a must.

15. flip flops, what are those? i wear chancletas.

16. men think the proper way to hit on a lady is by honking.

17. when your car is nicer than your house. whaaat it’s true?

18. you can do your grocery shopping while waiting at a red light.

19. every sports team is named after your city, miami dolphins, miami heat, miami marlins, miami hurricanes. (sorry FIU, you’re just not there yet)

guuuuuuy what do you think of life?

i’m a mouse, DUH!

countdown, 18 days away. excitement, growing by the minute. i have been waiting months for halloween. i came up with my costume idea maybe mid march, and have been anticipating hallows eve ever since. i think making your costume is so much more fun than just going to party city and picking one up. even if you steal the EXACT same idea from one of those mass produced, and just make it yourself, kinda gives you some individuality. hottest thing since sliced bread, lady gaga. do you know how many people are going to be lady gaga for halloween? about 345,523,677,231 and that is probably just in miami alone! at least if you make your costume you can look a tid bit different, tweek a few things, you know, stand out from the crowd. i have 3 different things i want to be for halloween (and that was eliminating about 4 of them), – i don’t want to be a repeat costume offender!

for those who are into making their own costumes, american apparel is by far the best place to shop for them. especially if you are like most girls and are going for the hoochie mama look ;p. all of the pieces are simple and you can add on to them. bonus if you don’t destroy the pieces you can actually wear them when its not halloween. (this is what I am doing, pictures coming soon!)

the question is, what to do for halloween? lincoln road is always a great time.. i worked it last year (no, not like that – i did the pr for it) and it was jam packed. costumes galore.. dogs, cats, kids, hot guys, girls … you see everything! if you are into halloween, this is a great place to go and it is free! there is also the swedish house mafia – back in black party, sat. oct 29.

so you still don’t know what to be for halloween, or you are too lazy to actually think of a costume.. SHAME ON YOU! here are a few ideas for everyone. cheap andddd easy to do.

girl costumes:
sasha fierce – black leotard. stockings. heels
cat, dog, bunny, etc. – leotard in the designated color depending on the animal, buy a tail, paint on a nose or whiskers, and don’t forget about the ears!
grapes – buy purple balloons, blow them up and stick them to you. brown tights for the stems and you’re good to go.
nudist – i  don’t think I have to explain this costume.
cereal killer – wear a black dress, stick cereal boxes to yourself, with some fake blood on it and carry around a knife (preferably not a real one)
daisy duke/cowgirl – plaid shirt, tied. short short short shorts, and cowboy boots.

guy costumes:
douche bag – wear a garbage bag, and put a sign on you saying douche.
a mime – dress in all black, white gloves and paint your face white.
ghost – all you need is a sheet!
chick magnet – buy peeps at the grocery store.. stick them on to your clothing or a garbage bag, anything really. please don’t use real chicks, its mean and it will hurt them! fear & loathing in las vegas – patterned, short-sleeve, collared shirt / sneakers / aviator sunglasses / fedora / khaki shorts

and if anyone can pull this lego man off, i will marry you.

cafeina, es muy bonita

shirt – cotton on. shoes – steve madden.birthday girlarkadia @ the fontainebleau

if you are anything like me, and you get tired of the same old thing weekend after weekend, then i suggest you try something new this friday. last friday it was one of my college friends’ birthdays so we went out to wynwood, in midtown miami for happy hour. (of course happy hour turned into a happy 5 hours followed by a night of clubbing). my treck down to wynwood was definitely not my favorite part of the night.. but that was probably because i am a terrible driver and when you mix in torrential down pour and uncertainty of how to get your destination it just turns into a disaster. if you have never been to that area before brace yourself. although it used to be a little ghetto, it is turning around and making itself into a premier hot spot for art lovers.

cafeina was the name of the lounge we went to. the structure of the lounge was quite remarkable. extremely modern. definitely reasonably priced, and happy hour prices were awesome. my best friend and i tried a slider, (we thought there would be a few on the plate, you definitely have to read things carefully, – they said slider and they gave us 1 slider.) it was delish though. the music, definitely got us in the mood to go out, which is why we headed over to the fontainebleau to finish our night.

although i wouldn’t suggest taking someone there on a first date, it is a great place to go w. friends or maybe a 5th or 6th date. promise you its a good time. i give the place 2 thumbs up! plus, hot waiters & it is connected to an art exhibit.

visit cafeinas facebook page for more about them.

best thing about liv & arkadia are the awesome glasses.

the beach … needs the fashion police.

as a girl from miami, i try and spend as much time at the beach as possible. ( i am proud to say i have a tint of a glow from the past three weekends.) i have some do’s and dont’s for you lovely ladies out there. men, keep up the good work because this year you all (well a good portion of you) have been on POINT. well.. the shorts could be a little shorter, but we wont complain. oh.. and while youre at it please stop wearing socks + sneakers to the beach, invest in a pair of sandals, you can get a pair at oldnavy for $2.50

do: wear a hat. the bigger the better. (haha)

don’t: cake your face with makeup, youre at the beach, you are expected to look natural.

do: wear sunblock. tans are sexy, looking like a lobster.. not so much.

don’t: buy that stupid hot pink and purple leopard bathing suit from victoria’s secret. ladies, there are THOUSANDS of bathing suits out there.. why must i see 19 of the same bathing suit in a 13 foot radius.

do: mix && match. its great, you can have 2 swim suits but in actuality have 4. if you find a cute top, but dont like the bottom, who cares.. buy the top and get a solid bottom. mixing and matching just made life SO MUCH EASIER.

don’t: wear the same thing as your friend. it is not cute. you look ridiculous.

do: get a retro styled bathing suit. high waisted swim suits are sooo in this year.

don’t: show under boob please, and while you are at it… please cover up your tush. you are at a public beach.. not everyone wants to see your goods.

do: always pack a sundress. you can never go wrong.

don’t: wear heels to the beach. if you fall, people WILL laugh.

do: wear sunglasses. they are good for your eyes, and well you just look good wearing a pair.

don’t: LITTER! after spending a day on south beach you look around and you no longer see sand, you see bottles and cans.. hundreds of red cups and bags of chips. if you are going to go to the beach and drink/eat, please please PLEASE just pick up your trash and throw it in the garbage cans that are on your way out.

 

xoxo.