who do you think you are, running around leaving scars.

lately i have been in a writing slump, my creative juices have just not been flowing. i want to write, but i have nothing to write about. i could ramble on about kim kardashian and her divorce, but that is soooo last week and not really news worthy anymore, besides i think every media outlet has beaten that to death. i could also talk about my amazing dress i bought this weekend for my cousin’s wedding next weekend, or my new shoes that i am completely obsessed with… (i have included a picture of them though, don’t worry i wouldn’t leave that out). i can talk about my weekend and how sloppy i got… how my butt must have seen the pavement about 24 times on saturday. gravity was fighting against me and i just was unable to keep my balance. i could also talk about my night out with a friend on friday. we went out to dinner with a few other friends who were in from out-of-town. i really find it interesting how many different cultures there are in this world. being cooped up in miami you tend to just see the same culture, just altered a little depending on geographical location. i met someone from trinidad and tobago. it is crazy that they speak english but it sounds nothing like english. they pronounce words so different from us. my friend and i were straining our ears to make out what they were saying. i can ramble on about how ridiculous i get when i am drunk. whyyyyy do i find the need to text when i am drunk? seriously all i want to do is ostrich my head anywhere. morning after, i feel like a complete moron. to top it off i have no idea why i say the things i say, especially to someone who doesn’t deserve it. i hate expressing my feelings to a certain guy, when he can’t even man up and say how he feels back, whether he feels the same way or doesn’t, either way is fine… he just says nothing and responds with shit like “my phone died”. thankssssss, i sat here and grew balls, said how i felt for it to be followed by “my phone died”. waste of time. this is why the single life is for me. no one can make me as happy as i make myself. at least no man can. my friends yes, my family of course.. but that is it. from there on id rather ride solo. it is crazy how you can believe the things that are told to you, when the intentions of others don’t even match your intentions. i always go back to this, but i don’t see why everything in relationships has to be a game. one of my friends recently broke up with her lovaaah. she is so distraught. relationships are so hard and overwhelming. i think if you have to work so hard to make it work then it will never be a fully successful one. if you like someone, or love someone, depending on your situation it should be easy. the feeling would be mutual, you would both want to spend time together. you would both want to see each other. you would both make the effort to make it work. if one is fighting for it more than the other, thats when you need to reevaluate the situation and walk away. if it is meant to be, it will be, if not, keep calm, carry on… there is another waiting on the sidelines for you. i told my friend the other day, if you are worried about being alone, or worried about not finding someone that you will love just as much as your ex, you are insane. there are 7 billion people out there, if you think there is only one person for you than you are highly mistaken, and those are some shitty odds.

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